DC Metro Rider Fails Open Book Test On Subway Etiquette

Red Line Red Writes – “Book Learnin’ Trumps Civility on the DC Red Line.

Taken during the morning rush-hour on DC’s Red Line. True to DC’s well-deserved title as the Narcissists’ Mecca, this seat hog is so eager to read the latest insider biography (or is that a Bible?) that she couldn’t be bothered to notice that the passenger standing beside her could use a seat more than her tote bag. (I would have taken another shot at the following stop, but the wall of people who had to stand around her and her bag was too dense.”

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Unfathomably Inconsiderate Man Ignores Disabled Straphanger

DC Metro Rider Writes – “Not only is chivalry dead, so is common courtesy. Thanks seathogs for having a way to call people out on their indecency.”
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Looks like the clock struck midnight before this subway princess made it home.

Christopher S. Writes – “Hogs are hogs but the MTA made a bad decision installing those little jump seats at the ends of subway cars, the ones that make a fuckload of noise when they spring up. And man do those ass-whackers spring up fast. They’re not quiiiiiiiite double-sized – maybe a mother and child, or two pretty good, pretty thin friends – so they encourage hoggery. But it can be done. I see somebody sitting in one and someone else doing the sideways “I’m not really with this freak” move all the time. But when Sleeping Boozy is aboard, make way for her tiny kingdom of weird shit in the land of ill-advised jump seats.

Because I’m an asshole, when I saw her in my periphery I immediately assumed she was homeless. And maybe she is and I’m an even bigger asshole because when I really focused on her I thought, “It sort of looks like she got Nicole Kidman’s old face, maybe three faces ago, and while she hasn’t treated it very well, she doesn’t look homeless.” That is pretty dickish – she can’t be homeless because she’s not ugly and doesn’t reek? But whatever, the point is SHE WAS TAKING UP TOO FUCKING MUCH ROOM IN A CROWDED TRAIN.

I applaud her use of the bustass suitcase from 1991 as a safety device so people don’t enter or exit the car too quickly. But then there’s that…thing, that fabric thing. Sort of a classy tarp. It was big enough to be a patio umbrella – what you can see there was actually folded over twice, and it went up really high. So, yoga mat for six, maybe? Had she packed a picnic lunch in her American Tourister and made her polka-dot bolt of stuff into a festive, retro blanket? I’m not ashamed to say I have no clue what that stupid item is – but I do know she wasn’t really asleep, just slumped over for roominess. She kept fluttering her lids and opening her eyes between stations, then pretending to be in a coma at the stops.

Of course, she’s probably some very sweet woman who lost her job in January ‘09 and her boyfriend had just kicked her out a half hour before and she was so stunned and depressed that she left most of her stuff and I’m a tool because those seats don’t really fit two anyway. But come on. What a hog.”

AnimalMan Writes – “Nice breakdown, I voted this one a 5″
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Gold Plated Knees Exhibited In Orange Display Case

Knickerbocker Writes – “While traveling on the R train to Manhattan, this seathog was totally obvlivious to anyone else but his own comfort.”
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Even A Senior Citizen Felt Her Wrath

HogHater Writes – “When: Tuesday, July 20, 2010. Where: METRO Bus Washington, DC. This woman was a complete brat on the bus. Her tiny little baby bag took up the seat next to her and when someone came to sit down she yelled at him telling him that he bumped her elbow and continued to vent and rant even AFTER he apologized and left. After he left she placed her baby bag there and didn’t even BOTHER to move it after it fell on the senior lady sitting right next to her. Even on her way out she yelled at poor foreign women asking her to “move the f*** outta” her way and if she’d seen the baby she as carrying as if being a teenage mother was some sort of privilege and she deserved special rights.”
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Her Muffins Are More Important Than Your Buns

John K. Writes – “This was July 21st morning rush hour. A pregnant lady had just sat down in the seat I gave her when this Betty crocker wouldn’t move her muffins. Fairfax connector in northern va.”
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Deep In Thought, This Woman Realizes ... Nothing

Francine T. Writes – “On the J to Bklyn Old lady sits right in the middle of the bench and looks the other way in avoidance of the others she is inconveniencing”
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Rude SeatHogs Will Always Make You Ask Them To Move

Photo Submitted By Stuart D.

AnimalMan Writes – “We often get comments complaining that one need only ask a SeatHog to move their bags or take their feet off of an empty seat in order to resolve the issue. These rude individuals are SeatHogs plain and simple. Anyone who hogs a seat requiring someone to ask them to move is breaking basic common sense courtesy and breaking the golden rule. All who support such SeatHogs are most likely guilty of the same behavior.”
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Gargamel Would Be Proud

Christopher S. Writes – “Bulky Old Papa Smurf Hog. Grandpa needed a whopping THREE seats to rest his mass on a packed downtown 1 train. I might have let it slide (respect your elder hogs, kids) but then a woman very politely said, “Excuse me,” and nodded to the two extra seats he was slopped over. Rather than move, he grumbled, “I’m getting off at the next stop.” AND THEN HE DIDN’T. Of course, in my effort to step back so I could get a full perspective shot, I smashed my bag into some guy’s face. So.”
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Bag Hog Kept In Check By Brazen Act Of Goodwill

Justin K. Writes – “Here is my first one.. Photo taken at 4:45 pm.

Seathog in question put her bag on the seat to assure noone could sit next to her. Note gentleman forced to stand next to her.

She was on the train when I got on at McPherson Square. I think she got off when I did at Pentagon City stop.

I made sure she saw me take the pictures, because frankly, I LOVE pissing people off. Shortly after these were taken, she picked up her bags (3 stops later) and gave me the stink eye the rest of the ride. Like I had screwed up her whole commute by pointing out that people were standing with nowhere to sit.

It’s far more common on D.C. Metro than you would realize. I could get a lot more, but some of the folks have looked not so friendly.”
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